This was a test. This band has conducted a test of the Emergency Budget Rock System™. This was only a test. The Mummies in voluntary cooperation with federal, state and local authorities have developed this system to keep you informed in the event of a Budget Rock™ Emergency. Had this been an actual emergency, the shows played last week would have been followed by some kind of additional horseshit. This concludes our test of the Emergency Budget Rock System™.
Billed as a "rock n roll adventure holiday" and purportedly taking place "on the coast somewhere in the woods," the Mummies will be playing--and possibly running for their lives like some kind of Eye-talian Blair Witch Project. *Eight (8) nights of 25+ bands, with the Kings of Budget Rock™ appearing at some point (no, we're not playing 8 nights in a row). More music than you will ever need to hear for the rest of your life. For more info, visit the PRICKLYpeaBOWLS site.
Apparently Fifty Million Frenchmen Can Be Wrong. The boys play the Born Bad Festival, celebrating 10 years of Born Bad Records at Le Trabendo. Heads will roll.
There goes the neighborhood. Budget Rock's™ best ethnic band pulls squatter's rights in Park Slope @ Southpaw.
Remember that show in Spain last year? That one and only show we were gonna do? Yeah, well we lied. And if you don't like it, put yer ear buds back in and go listen to yer Bob Fuckin' Dylan again.
Back by popular demand, the Kings of Budget Rock™ will be pulling dubbble-trubble on June 9th 2009, at the scene of the last U.S. Mummies show (back in '91). That's right, count 'em: TWO sets. Those slave drivers at Maxwell's really know how to extract that pound of flesh. And all on account of a silly little misunderstanding about a bar tab. Fer Chrisssakes! That was 18 years ago, guys! Cut us a little slack!!
That's right, after 15 years of incessant nagging by every Tom, Dick and Larry, someone finally convinced the boys to travel forward in time to 2008 to play a show. Needless to say, the boys were appalled at the state of the future we all live in. Where are the flying fucking cars like in Blade Runner?! What the hell kind of future is this shit anyway? What, the best you can do is eBay? What happened to all the cheap equipment? Where did Thrift Center in Hayward go?! Where's Savers next to Thrift City in Redwood City?! Oh shit... where the fuck is Thrift City???
So this is what happens when we call it quits. We give you all the keys to the fucking kingdom, and you fuck it all up. This is worse than Chuck riding up to the statue of liberty at the end of the Planet of the Apes. What did you assholes do to the future? God Damn it!!
This is why we have to come back to the future. And after we play this show, we're going to crawl back into our tiny little time machine, go back to safe-and-sane 19-fucking-89 and buy up all the Farfisas, Silvertone 1484's, Vox and Framus guitars and destroy them all!!!
Oh yeah, and this ain't no bullshit. We really are playing on October 10th, 2008. Once. One fucking show. Uno. Got it? If you ever want to see The Mummies LIVE, this is your one and only chance. Tickets apparently go on sale in June. Check the promoter's mySpace page for more info on the show: Funtastic Dracula Carnival
Oh yeah, there's one last hitch: the show is in Spain, amigo. So start saving up for that plane fare, and remember, no more than 3 oz of liquid on the plane, so empty out your colostomy bag prior to boarding.
Estrus Records presents: In 1998, Budget Rock™ headquarters in John Daly City, California tumbled into the God Damn Pacific ocean as a result of the El Niño storms, claiming the lives of two of The Mummies and the entire Pre-B.S. archive of original master tapes. Now, thanks to the miracle of modern technology, the two surviving members of The Mummies have traveled back in time to right this terrible tragedy--they've rescued the master tapes.
For the first time ever: 22 tracks of pure fool's gold, like you've never heard them before... now, with bass! That's right. Apparently, The Mummies did have a bass player, as these master tapes have revealed. Listen and marvel at the Kings of Budget Rock™ as they define what was to be a world-wide revolution of retardo rock. Slopehead slop like 'Food, Sickles & Girls' and 'I'm Gonna Kill My Baby Tonight' and barnyard classics such as 'Zip A Dee Doo Dah' and 'Stronger Than Dirt.'
Yup, 22 tracks culled from their now ridiculously overpriced, collector's item 45's, including a very special, never before released, hide-the-salami hidden bonus track... The Mummies say "Fuck vinyl, 'cause this CD shit is soundee so good." So what are you waiting for, jackass? It just don't get any easier than this.
Available 11/04/2003
WHAT THE FUCK?!
We just found out our "Never Been Caught" LP is out on CD! CD!! Those pricks at Telstar! What's next, a CD release on Estrus? Jesus Christ!
We're all flying to New Jersey on the 22nd to straighten this shit out. What a mess... All we can tell you is heads are gonna fucking roll over this.
Don't buy this CD. CDs suck, you asshole.
Not only is Telstar screwing us, but we just found out Shane White wrote the new goddammed liner notes! What a fucking backstabbing motherfucker. Remember when Shane and the singer vowed they'd kill each other if they ever ran into each other again? Well, the singer just took off for Shane's apartment! Man, this is gonna be good...
Telstar didn't even have the decency to send us one single fucking copy. We had to go buy one of the damn things ourselves.
Telstar, YOUR ASS IS GRASS.
OK, so what the hell is it? Well, what you've got here is a reissue of the one that started it all.
"Never Been Caught" was originally released in 1992. Yeah, it's been 10 years! Not only did those bastards at Telstar put all 17 original tracks on the CD, they added the entire fucking "Planet Of The Apes" single, "Your Love" taken from the B-side of the "Stronger Than Dirt" single, and "Uncle Willie" from the Turban Renewal LP, for a total of 22 tracks! Really man, WHAT THE FUCK?!
