That's right, after 15 years of incessant nagging by every Tom, Dick and Larry, someone finally convinced the boys to travel forward in time to 2008 to play a show. Needless to say, the boys were appalled at the state of the future we all live in. Where are the flying fucking cars like in Blade Runner?! What the hell kind of future is this shit anyway? What, the best you can do is eBay? What happened to all the cheap equipment? Where did Thrift Center in Hayward go?! Where's Savers next to Thrift City in Redwood City?! Oh shit... where the fuck is Thrift City???
So this is what happens when we call it quits. We give you all the keys to the fucking kingdom, and you fuck it all up. This is worse than Chuck riding up to the statue of liberty at the end of the Planet of the Apes. What did you assholes do to the future? God Damn it!!
This is why we have to come back to the future. And after we play this show, we're going to crawl back into our tiny little time machine, go back to safe-and-sane 19-fucking-89 and buy up all the Farfisas, Silvertone 1484's, Vox and Framus guitars and destroy them all!!!
Oh yeah, and this ain't no bullshit. We really are playing on October 10th, 2008. Once. One fucking show. Uno. Got it? If you ever want to see The Mummies LIVE, this is your one and only chance. Tickets apparently go on sale in June. Check the promoter's mySpace page for more info on the show: Funtastic Dracula Carnival
Oh yeah, there's one last hitch: the show is in Spain, amigo. So start saving up for that plane fare, and remember, no more than 3 oz of liquid on the plane, so empty out your colostomy bag prior to boarding.
Estrus Records presents: In 1998, Budget Rock™ headquarters in John Daly City, California tumbled into the God Damn Pacific ocean as a result of the El Niño storms, claiming the lives of two of The Mummies and the entire Pre-B.S. archive of original master tapes. Now, thanks to the miracle of modern technology, the two surviving members of The Mummies have traveled back in time to right this terrible tragedy--they've rescued the master tapes.
For the first time ever: 22 tracks of pure fool's gold, like you've never heard them before... now, with bass! That's right. Apparently, The Mummies did have a bass player, as these master tapes have revealed. Listen and marvel at the Kings of Budget Rock™ as they define what was to be a world-wide revolution of retardo rock. Slopehead slop like 'Food, Sickles & Girls' and 'I'm Gonna Kill My Baby Tonight' and barnyard classics such as 'Zip A Dee Doo Dah' and 'Stronger Than Dirt.'
Yup, 22 tracks culled from their now ridiculously overpriced, collector's item 45's, including a very special, never before released, hide-the-salami hidden bonus track... The Mummies say "Fuck vinyl, 'cause this CD shit is soundee so good." So what are you waiting for, jackass? It just don't get any easier than this.
Available 11/04/2003
HELL YES WE ARE! The Mummies were wrong, Jack. What were we thinking? God, we feel absolutely horrible! Sorry! We had never really heard a CD before. Man, they sound great! Vinyl totally sucks! We hate vinyl now, and you should too.
We've got a lot of making up to do. This is so embarassing. We've decided to turn that vinyl shit into CD gold. We just finished transferring all the original master tapes to digital, and threw them all away. Wow, what a difference! We've already contacted all our major distributors and requested they destroy all remaining copies of the vinyl.
Once again, we're totally fucking sorry about this mix up! FUCK VINYL!
OK, so what the hell is it? Well, what you've got here is a reissue of the one that started it all.
"Never Been Caught" was originally released in 1992. Yeah, it's been 10 years! The CD contains all 17 original tracks as well as the entire "Planet Of The Apes" single, "Your Love" taken from the B-side of the "Stronger Than Dirt" single, and "Uncle Willie" from the Turban Renewal LP, for a total of 22 tracks. And they sound so much better! It's totally fucking hot! And it's on sale NOW!!
